Adoption

Going through the adoption process has helped us to see that there is a lot of misconceptions about the whole thing. Jennifer and I feel strongly that we need to clear some of this up. Our friends and family are scared for us everytime we have contact with the birth family. I hope that I can put your fears to rest and help you to see this through our eyes.

We have been nothing but blessed by the relationship that we have formed with Bailey's birth family. They are kind, warm people and we absolutely love them. To let them see Bailey from time to time is to let them know that she is alright and that they made the right decision.

Birth mothers do not place their children for adoption because they do not love them rather it is because they do. It would be far easier to save yourself the pain and to rear the child in a less than perfect environment, which so many people do. Or to even have an abortion and to save yourself from all of the pain of the pregnancy and the challenges of raising a child thereafter. This is not to suggest that those who place their children for adoption could not raise them themselves because many of them could. They want however, more for their child. Things that they know they will not be able to provide. It takes a lot of maturity to take such an honest look at your station in life and to make that decision.

A healthy relationship with the birthfamily does not threaten the relationship of the adoptive family. Here I stress the word healthy. We have all heard horror stories I know, but these are in the distinct minority. More often than not various forms of contact serve to reassure the birthmother that everything is alright and help to form a tie between her and her child. The child so placed never has to wonder why they were placed they can instead take comfort that they have two mothers that love them and would do anything for them.

I suppose that is all I have to say at the moment but this will be a topic that I will revisit from time to time. I want you all to know how much I love my daughter. I also love the birthfamily that comes with her. Adoption is far more common than we might realize and it is not something to be ashamed of. The mother who places her child can be assured that outside of a few anamolous cases they are healthy happy and loved.

If you know someone who is pregnant and in trouble please help them to know that adoption is an option. It is because, someone told Bailey's mother that we have Bailey with us today. Now I could not imagine our lives without her.